That "Feeling"

   Have you ever had that feeling as soon as you wake up, that the day is going to be a wreck? Not just like a bunch of bad things will happen, but the feeling down in your very being, that something you can't imagine is going to happen?

   Today I woke up and had this "cranky" feeling. Not just because Stephanie is blaring her little cd-player in the next room so loud that I can literally sing along to the lyrics, but because no matter what she or anyone else in my house is doing right now, I feel this awful urge to run and scream and never stop running. It's like the Ultimate Annoyance but not from anyone in particular. The feeling is spawning from the day itself, with no hopes of pin-pointing what it is exactly. I suppose that the car could break down, or someone will pass-away that I know, maybe even that I'll break a bone today. I'm not sure I can tell, but I'm fearing today. I hope that none of this nightmare comes true that I "think" I can feel, but more than likely my feelings aren't here for no reason.

The outcome..... later....

Hates-B-Gone

Well I guess this post is up for edit, since I sent an e-mail post and it never got here. I'll edit this with my 9-other hates on here. I really don't know what happened to my other post, but bare with me while I fix this up....

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To briefly continue what I was ranting about before, I'd like to just go down the list of pet-peeves and dislikes. Mind you this is a very short list compared to the actual one... heh.

• Lying


• Impatience


• Petty Arguments


• "Going Along"


• Selfishness


• Carelessness


• Attention Grabbing


• Non Professionalism


• Finger-Pointing


• Senseless-Actions

   Lying is a very easy thing to classify, anything that is untrue, or meant to keep the truth from surfacing is my classification.

  Next Impatience can be anything that requres absolute attention for something that is deemed important to none other than the person asking.

Example:

ME: What do you want?
X: Can you come here?
ME: No, can't you see I'm raking in $100k in this hand of hold-em?
X: Well can you come here in a few seconds..?
ME: Depends... What is it you want?
X: Nothing, just to come here. No real reason.
ME: Well then, NO!
******5 minutes later*****
X: Can you come here noooowww?
ME: *Jumps out window*

  The next "hate" is self explanitory. Being selfish is being selfish....

  Carelessness can be anything broken, bruised, hurt, or damaged in the act of doing something UN-carefully. This could include something such as breaking a glass because you were doing cartwheels in the kitchen.

  Attention-grabbing, yet another pet-peeve of mine, that usually involves: talking excessivly loud, laughing with no reason, crying for no apparent reason, or telling stories that are seemlessly untrue (See also: Lying).

  Non professionalism could be the oddity of my list, but I prefer, rather, require professionalism at work and other "serious" activities. I'd rather not have you doing cartwheels at my grandmother's funeral. If you're not happy, then don't act happy, if you're at work, act like you're at work, unless of course it's acceptable behavior.

  Finger pointing was addressed in my previous post.

  Senseless actions is probably the confusing topic of discussion here. I consider an act of senseless actions something that has no earthly reasoning behind it. If I ran outside naked, it may seem like something senseless, but yet, it has reasoning of being "crazy" or "adrenaline fulfilling". To better understand COMPLETE senselessness, read below.

X: *Puts on winter coat in July*
ME: Why did you put that coat on?
X: I dunno...
ME: Are you cold? Is it about to rain? Hail storm coming?
X: Nope.
ME: Why the hell did you do that then? Does it match your outfit or something?
X: Nope.
ME: Uhhhh *faints*..

Ten Hates In Ten Days

Over the next few days (10) I'll be counting specific things I hate about people in general, and how I react to these things. Please be advised, that these are the views of myself, and not intended suitable responses for all people.

Hate 10

Me: "What the hell?! You used all the toilet paper, soap, and shampoo. Could we use a bit of regulation here?"

Person X: "Well you used two scoops of ice cream last night."

Me: "I can't wipe my ass with ice cream, nor shampoo bottles."

Person X: "Still, you did.. I swear you ate two scoops."

Me: "UGH!"

People seem to have this facination with taking the blame off of themselves. Since my childhood, I've been taught the proverb: Anyone may place the blame, but a real man admits his own faults." I do admit that I'm not always right in what I say, and do, but in four years I've heard less people admit they were wrong, than I can count on one hand. What does this say?

Sheep

Things are going a lot more smoothly around here seems like. I'm a bit more level with myself, and everyone, and I guess I'm looking up more than I used to. I think that in the end, we all turn out the same no matter what, so that doesn't distinguish us as people. How we live does. Wouldn't you agree? I'd rather not feel like I'm living among a heard of sheep as myself, but I'd rather be the really odd animal in life such as the duck-billed platypus. Something that stands out LOL. They don't travel in heards, and they act independently from one another.

Delightful Work

Well today was the second day of my manual labor on mom's shed and it burned! Literally, I got sunburned. I'm not a fan of hot weather, mostly because I hate burning, and my distaste for sweating profusely. I'd prefer to keep comfy warm in a nice coat in 30º weather. Instead though, today I finished roofing a SHEET-METAL shed of all things! After slicing my hand twice, becoming a nice candy-apple red and even crispifying the top of my ears, I completed the task, minus three measly bolts. Let me tell you; standing on a ladder for five hours can make your calves feel like steel, or, the cramps in them anyway.

It's been a bit since my last post. I'm still looking for work, and find a few places here and there that are hiring, but it seems that I'm always the last that they pick. Maybe my qualifications are a little scarce, but I don't buy it since my brother got a call from the last place, and he's only worked two jobs in his entire life. Oh well.... More next time.

Negativity

Well I've decided to turn things around for me. I know that I've been really negative in my writing. I've taken it into my own hands to delete all my negitive posts and try to post mostly positive things. Maybe this is the next step to working on my life. I dunno.

I AM happy right now, so maybe I don't need to write anything negative. We all have bad times, maybe it's just best that only I know about them. Who wants to read some bad things that happen in my life eh?

Well here's to the future, and good POSITIVE posts....

-Matt

Another Music-filled Day

I'm just sitting around listening to my H.I.M playlist. It's been a few days since I've talked to Steph. Maybe something around four or five days. I really don't know what to do. I know that sometime soon I have to get up and go up to G.C. and apply for a job. Sitting around sucks. I'm really not sure how much I can do from now until the end of the month but I have to try, don't I?
I hate the weather. It's too damn hot. The thermometer was dipping into the low thirties this morning and this afternoon it reached a sunny-no-good seventy-one. That's fourty degrees of change. I'm not one for warm weather. I hate sweating or even feeling toasty, unless it's in the negatives outside. I'd rather freeze to death than roast.

H.I.M. Owns

I found this nifty site that I could link some of my favorite videos. They kick ass, and so does the site. Ha Ha!

H.I.M - Join Me







H.I.M - Funeral of Hearts

H.I.M - The Sacrament

Motivation

well it just that life has been at some of it's lowest points here lately. I've lost a lot of will to associate with people. I feel no comfort in talking much anymore. There's a billion things a person can say, but very little they can do. Talking gives you hopes of better days, but when no better days come, then dissapointment sets in...